Creating Resiliency in Children: Solutions for Mental Wellness in Our Families

For over 20 years I have served in churches in rural, impoverished communities. I have witnessed the impacts of poverty firsthand. I have also been blessed to see how resiliency can impact a child's future. In the community I currently serve at, the majority of the children are considered impoverished and operate within multiple systems of poverty. Parents bring their children to church but choose not to participate themselves. Many of their parents are actively involved with their schooling but also feel the stress of needing more time to get it all done. Many of them come from families who work very hard every week to make ends meet. Unfortunately, I know several kids who have family members in active addiction. Drugs and alcohol plague my community. I refer to the kids in the youth ministry as “my kids.” My kids are resilient. My kids are overcomers.

McWhirter et al. (2017) states, “Resilient children derive support from their social environment-their school, their community, and their kinship network” (p 105). Lövgren et al. (2019) found that children who had experienced a great loss/stressor in life but had faith, spiritual belief, and used their spiritual belief to cope with the stressors had found a way to overcome and move through what many would consider a disastrous event. They were resilient. Individuals in the church can have an impact on the social environment of those children with adverse childhood experiences.

McWhirter et al (2017) states, “resilient children often have at least one adult mentor outside the family throughout their development” (p 106). From everything I have learned so far, it is not just one person making an impact though. It is a collaborative effort across all systems throughout the child’s development that makes the greatest impact. Kearney and Levine (2020) found that children who have role models in education, mentors in formal programs outside of the education system, and view affirmative media messaging experience more resiliency and greater outcomes later in life.

It is my experience over the last 20 years that parents/family have a great influence positively or negatively on their child. McWhirter et al. (2017) believe it is this specific setting that has the greatest sway on the child’s psychosocial growth. Parents who provide optimistic interaction, validate their children, adopt an authoritative parenting style, and grow their child’s village through positive outside experiences help to create resiliency across all stages of development.

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT, ) states, “Direct your child onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” This is a promise to parents, but I believe it is an encouragement to those who love children who are not their own. Direct them onto the right path, help create resilience, and watch what they can do…overcome.

Written by Amanda Bannister

Kearney, M. S., & Levine, P. B. (2020). Role models, mentors, and media influences. The Future of Children, 30(1), 83-106.

Lövgren, M., Sveen, J., Steineck, G., Wallin, A. E., Eilertsen, M. B., & Kreicbergs, U. (2019). Spirituality and religious coping are related to cancer-bereaved siblings’ long-term grief. Palliative & Supportive Care, 17(2), 138-142. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1478951517001146

McWhirter, J. J., McWhirter, B. T., McWhirter, E. H., & McWhirter, A. C. (2017). At risk youth: A comprehensive response for counselors, teachers, psychologists, and human service professionals, 6th ed. Cengage Learning

New Living Translation. (2015). The Holy Bible, NLT. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.